They're feeling narked in Nottingham
And brittle in Bristol East,
They're filled with wrath
In the town of Bath
And no use to man or to beast,
They're worried white in Warrington,
They're pensive in Pendle too,
In Dudley West
They've tried their best
But can't find a way to pull through,
In Putney there's a panic,
They're wondering what to do,
In Mitcham they've gone manic
And know what it means to be blue.
Hurray - hurray - hurray!
Labour is on the way.
There's an election just around the corner,
There are Tories nowhere to be seen,
Their heads are whirling
From Swindon up to Stirling
And they're turning a curious shade of Lincoln green,
They will wish they were dead
When Rossendale turns red,
While in Croydon they visibly cringe and cower,
We're going to give the Conservatives the old one-two
And sweep the Tories out of power.
They're in the dumps in Darlington
And Wallasey just can't win,
In York and Spen
They're wondering when
The reckoning will begin,
It's hell in Hayes and Harlington,
In Fulham they're feeling foul,
In Ellesmere Port
They're frightened and fraught
You can hear them holler and howl,
In Hampstead things are hectic,
They're stymied in Stockton South,
In Ayr they're apoplectic
And beginning to foam at the mouth.
Hurray - hurray - hurray!
Labour is here to stay.
There's an election just around the corner
And they're all as gloomy as can be,
They're sick with worry
In Brentford and in Bury,
And in Gravesham they're going to join the S.D.P.,
In the town of Slough
It isn't fit for Tories now
As the voters abandon them hour by hour,
We're going to send all the bosses to the jobless queue
And sweep the Tories out of power.
There's an election just around the corner,
Soon they'll all be queueing for the dole,
The fear is welling
From Derby North to Delyn
And they can't bear to look at the next opinion poll,
They'll be all on their way
When the people have their say
On the classless society turning sour,
We'll have revenge for the miners and the poll tax too,
And sweep the Tories out of power.
The nation's crying
"Keep the red flag flying",
Sweep the Tories out of power.
I wrote this with political allusions, rather than illusions, in mind. It was 1992, the Conservative government was looking old and tired, and I had the idea of writing a lyric based on Noel Coward's "Bad times just around the corner" (not one of his better-known songs, but one of his very best). I'm still pleased with it technically. It scans, it fits the music well, and all of the places mentioned (and alliterated!) were marginal constituencies which the Conservatives looked likely to lose at the coming election.
As it happened the Conservatives did indeed lose most of the seats mentioned, but remained in power with a reduced majority. In 1997 they were "swept out of power" by a Labour government which has made its predecessor look almost good by comparison, but that is history! Anyway, there's a far more minimalist answer to political questions: one politician, one bullet... (2000-04-18)